The chef has a revenge

Bertie has a revenge for all his dissatisfied customers

What are you going to do when you retire? 

BERTIE THE CHEF:     When I'm retired I'll just cook for myself and my cat. Everybody else may as well just starve or eat crap.

The grass might be greener somewhere else

Nadja the cook wants to be a bartender

What profession would you choose today if you could choose freely?


NADJA:   First I was a nurse but I wanted to be a cook. Now I'm a cook and I want to be a bartender. And I'm sure that when I am a bartender I want to be something else, maybe a flight attendant.

So maybe I should stay a cook...

Can you really skip sleeping?

Bella has no use for a bed

Are you a night owl or an early riser?

BELLA:  I don't think I want to go to sleep ever. I prefer staying awake 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

What does that make me? Early riser or night owl?

Getting enough energy can be a problem

Anita is exhausted today

 
Would you describe yourself as lazy or hardworking?


ANITA:     I do not think I have enough energy today to give you an answer to that question. Please ask someone else.

Some pets never get a name

The cat

 
What would be the name of your next pet?

MIA:    Right now we have a cat that is ten years old. We haven't yet been able to name this cat so I can definitely not give you a name suggestion for my NEXT cat....

Who can be charmed by a farting machine

Benny is trying to please his teacher

Do you like your teacher?

BENNY:   Yes, I like my teacher, but she does not like me!

I've tried the apple trick, but she said that was too cheap.

Maybe I went too far that time when I placed a farting machine under her chair. Everyone in the class thought it was funny, but not the teacher.

She's probably no sense of humor.

Reciting habits can be annoying

Jenny is reciting Shakespeare - as always...

What annoys you the most?


ABIGAIL: My good friend Jane has a habit of reciting Shakespeare at all situations. I'm not embarrassed on her account but it really annoys me!

Ability to enter into a fiction is one thing - getting back into reality is another

Coming out from the cinema

What’s your greatest surprise in life?

WENDY: I always get my greatest surprises everytime I come out from the cinema.  Facing the real world is such a surprise and it mostly takes me an hour to get used  to my normal life.

How to get close using a blanket

William and Mona met on an aircraft

You are a couple. How did you meet?


WILLIAM:   Four years ago, I crossed the Atlantic in a Boeing 747. During the night it was terrible cold on the plane, but I was saved by a flight attendant, Mona, who gave me a warm blanket. I was so grateful and overwhelmed her with compliments.

Mona, the flight attendant, answered:
- I can come to your home every night and tuck you in with a warm blanket.

And so she did ...

Sometimes difference matters a lot

Agnes and Irene, daughter and mother.
Whichever.

What annoys you the most?



AGNES the daughter:  When I go out with my mother, people cannot tell who is the daughter and who is the mother. That annoys me!

IRENE the mother:  When I go out with my daughter and people say that I am the mother, THAT annoys me....

Flies have a strategy for being annoying.

A fly on the nose

What annoys you the most?


HEDVIG: For me flies are the most annoying creatures in the world. I think they have a strategy for being annoying.

What terrifies me most is when they are creeping into my nose.

This is my first red white-spotted zebra

Wendy likes to see herself as an animal

If you were an animal what kind of animal would you be?


WENDY:    Funny thing you asked  that question.

Every morning when I've dressed, I look in the mirror and try to see what kind of animal I most resemble. That image I carry in my mind for the rest of the day.

 Today, I feel I am a red white-spotted zebra.

Making your workplace an amusement park

Gina and Linda don't have any dull moments at work

Do you have fun at work?




GINA:  I spend eight hours a day at the office. So do Linda and we have fun 100% of the time.

Even our boss is funny. He looks angry and says:
- This is a workplace, not an amusement park!

He is so funny!

How too much intensity affects your memory

Three friends got confused about their brunch

 
What did you have for breakfast today?



ANNA, LOUISE and MEG:  The three of us met to have a brunch today and it has been a week since last so we have so much to talk about.
In fact we have all been sharing our last week's experiences. For three whole hours.

We are not even sure we've had that brunch yet...

How to make your marriage a lifelong mission

John is Melissa's training coach

You are a couple. How did you meet?




MELISSA:  We met at the gym where John was my training coach. John thought I had too small muscles, especially my biceps were too small. After three months I still hadn't got any muscles, and John said: This seems to be a lifelong mission, it will be easier if we live together and get married.

And so we did ...

If someone else can do it, just let them do it

Belinda is not a do-it-yourself girl

What is the most fun to shop?



BELINDA: Are you kidding? It's not what you shop that makes shopping fun. It's ALWAYS fun to shop!

Perhaps with the exception of shoping in DIY stores.

She is always testing the social limits of fashion

Marhta wearing shorts

How often and when do you wear a skirt?




MARTHA:  I never wear a skirt. When other people normally takes on a skirt, I take my shorts. And when other people wear shorts, I  just wear a thong. And when other people wears a thong, then i wear....eh...

.... I wear jeans.

Being attacked when you least expect it

A suspicious duo

What’s your greatest surprise in life?

VERONICA:  MY greatest surprise?! 

You are in for YOUR greatest surprise!

Linda and I are top trained in karate and we don't ask people like you why the are approaching us. We attack directly.

KIIIIIIYYYAAAAAAA!

Text messages and shopping go together

Anna and her friends on  a shopping tour

How many times per day do you text from your phone?




ANNA: Usually I don't text more then trhee or four times a day, but when I go shopping I must textText meesages and shopping about each item I buy.


On shopping days my phone really goes hot!

There is a guy who uses his phone to talk

Anton never read the phone manual

How many times per day do you text from your phone?




ANTON:  Can you text on your phone? I did'nt know that, I use my phone to talk.